1) Why be normal?
2) Get out of your comfort zone.
3) Know that you have a purpose.
4) Every pencil holds a promise.
5) Do the small things that make others feel big.
6) Tourists see, but travelers seek.
7) Asking for permission is asking for denial.
8) Embrace the lightning moments.
9) Big dreams start with small, unreasonable acts.
10) Practice humility over hubris.
11) Speak the language of the person you want to become.
12) Walk with a purpose.
13) Happiness is found in celebrating others.
14) Find the impossible ones.
15) Focus on one person in every room.
16) Read the signs along the path.
17) Create separation to build connection.
18) Never take no from someone who can’t say yes.
19) Stay guided by your values, not your necessities.
20) You can’t fake authenticity.
21) There is only one chance at a first impression.
22) Fess up to your failures.
23) Learn to close the loop.
24) Change your words to change your worth.
25) A goal realized is a goal defined.
26) Surround yourself with those who make you better.
27) Vulnerability is vital.
28) Listen to your echoes.
29) If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.
30) Make your life a story worth telling.
In this lecture, 11th in the 2017 series, I discuss the giants of existentialism, a philosophically-grounded psychological position positing (1) that psychopathology or mental illness/distress is built into Being itself and (2) that the adoption of responsibility through action is the appropriate response.
single woman suffers from a fear of love and trains to become a
professional pole dancer in order to deal with this fear and to examine
Fear of Love Hi,
my name is Marieke and I’m afraid of love. People call it fear of
abandonment. It means that you feel an emptiness you can’t fill and it
follows that your love life is even more disappointing than the average
day out to the Dutch seaside. This fear is central to this film. In
order to increase my chances to have a fulfilling lovelife, I teach
myself how to pole dance professionally; I train myself from scratch and
end up as a contestant in the Dutch Pole Dancing Championship.
Even if you do not suffer from a fear of love you’re likely to
experience some form of inner turmoil; the film will also be interesting
for people who periodically suffer from other forms of general
anxiety. Whilst I’m filming all of these small disasters, I want to show
that life is never easy and full of emotional inconveniences. By
illuminating the mess hiding behind the perfect facades of people’s
lives I aim to make the viewer more acquainted and at ease with feelings
of vulnerability and sadness. For if you encounter these feelings and
decide not to deal with them, this mess will start ruling your life.
How did the idea for the film come about? “Of
course you’ll be able to pole dance too if you practice every day for
three months,” a friend promised me after I admitted to be unsure about
whether I’d ever be able to pole dance at a high level. I said this
while we’re both watching a performance by the incredible Juul de Metz.
Juul ended up becoming my private coach and I did reach that
professional level, even if it took me a little longer than three
months. The goal that we both set for me: to become a contestant at the
Dutch Pole Dancing Championship within a year from starting the
The research Before I started
training, I’d ungraciously swung around a pole a few times, that’s it. I
was nowhere near being able to give a performance. Still, I felt very
committed to achieve a goal that seemed physically impossible. Over the
course of a year, I filmed myself with my smartphone during training
sessions. In addition to that, Remco Wagenaar (director of photography)
and Ryan Paulis (sound) recorded part of my training, the Dutch Pole
Dancing Championship and the charming but confined atmosphere in the
dance school of my parents. I’ve recorded more though, such as my
therapy sessions where me and my therapist tried to figure out why I
wanted to excel in pole dancing rather than in another sport. Not only
that, I investigated much more with her, such as my desire to please
men, my constant failing when it comes to love affairs, and my hope
(whether or not in vain) to improve the relationship I have with my
parents. Part of the documentary is shot in Roosendaal, where I grew up
and where my parents still live and operate their dance school business.
With my parents we spoke about the way they raised me; it helped me
better understand who they are. I shared with them for the very first
time details of my rotten love life and other insecurities.
As the film progresses and I try to connect with my parents, my focus
shifts more and more to my mum. She is the most important person in my
life, yet she doesn’t feel close to me. We don’t always listen to each
other well enough, nor do we always understand each other. Realising
this, I feel I need to look for new ways to reconnect, know each other
better and also improve our understanding of each other.
Why do we need this film and why is your support needed? Your
financial contribution means that I can tell my story and that of many
others. I will give you an honest peek into my emotional backyard, where
vulnerability, pleasure, inconveniences, ambitions, pain and happiness
are all felt over the course of a relatively short amount of time or
even at once. These emotions sometimes don’t work together but more
often than not it’s the other way around, they are compatible to one
another. I find it very important to show that these emotions can all
coexist in one life, at the same time, in the life of one person.
more often people and creatives send out this message, the more it will
trickle down into people’s minds which should make it easier to
acknowledge their own problems and those of others.
In the film, I
take you with me on a personal quest to find a balance in my life as
well as on a journey past all the obstacles I met on my way to the Dutch
Pole Dancing Championship. Both processes (quite literally) involved
falling down mercilessly but usually also getting back onto my feet
again with a smile and full of pride.
What needs doing still? Everything’s been filmed
but without your support, I won’t be able to finish the documentary.
Editing still needs to happen and I’ve got two artists down to create
the soundtrack. They’ve given me a good deal but they want to be paid
nevertheless. After that, the post production process starts which
includes colour grading and audio post-processing.
And then?! Yes then it’ll be finished, yay!
project needs to be marketed and distributed as it would be great if it
finds its way to as many people as possible – it needs to be seen!
you’d love to sponsor the project. Well, you’re gonna get some percs in
return. Please have a browse through the rewards list. If you can’t
find anything to your liking, please do get in touch. I don’t mind
improvising a little. You’re doing something for me you hadn’t thought
of yesterday and I’m happy to do the same for you.
I have been asked many times by many people if I believe in God. I don’t
like this question. I generally respond by stating that I act as if God
exists, but that’s not sufficiently true. Who could do that? Who could
conduct themselves with the moral exactitude and care necessary of
someone who would dare to make that claim? Either claim? In any case,
after being asked the question yet again, when I was in Australia, I
decided to attempt to answer it in some detail.
This lecture, one of the 12 Rules for Life tour talks, was delivered in
Sydney Feb 26, 2019, at the International Convention Centre. It was one
of six I had professionally video recorded. Five of the six will be
released directly on thinkspot, our new social media platform (to be
announced in mid-June), as a bonus for direct subscribers (not to worry;
there are still more than 50 to be released as audio on the Jordan B
Peterson podcast at http://bit.ly/2HUdgnc,
so it’s not as if there will be any shortage). But I thought YouTube
would be appropriate for this, given the potentially broad interest in
Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance is one of the great unsolved crimes of the century. Despite a massive Federal investigation spanning 4 decades and hundreds of suspects, only the general contours of the crime are known. In the American mythology Hoffa is both hero and villain; a self-made man who ran the nation’s largest union and was so beloved by the rank and file Teamsters he represented that they supported him as union president even as he served time in prison. Hoffa’s name is synonymous with corruption thanks to Bobby Kennedy’s campaign against him, but the truth is much more complex. Hoffa’s glory years coincided with the golden age of the Union movement and the American economy; he also was enmeshed in the Machiavellian world of organized crime. “Killing Jimmy Hoffa” tells the whole story for the first time, using exclusive interviews, never before seen news footage and photographs, and revealing the real story of the day he died.