Psychologist, writer and innovator, Geoff Warburton has spent the last 25 years studying love and loss. Geoff challenges conventional apathy about grief and loss by offering an approach that evokes curiosity, openness and compassion. His approach synthesises Eastern wisdom traditions, in-depth psychology and common sense. The emphasis of his message is towards thriving after loss — and not merely surviving. He presents a perspective that challenges Western thought by saying there is no ‘right’ way to grieve and advocating that grief can be ‘the ride of your life’. Working from both his personal and professional experiences of bereavement, he goes so far as to say that loss through bereavement can become an adventure to be had, rather than a problem to be solved.
Adam Braun’s thirty mantras
1) Why be normal?
2) Get out of your comfort zone.
3) Know that you have a purpose.
4) Every pencil holds a promise.
5) Do the small things that make others feel big.
6) Tourists see, but travelers seek.
7) Asking for permission is asking for denial.
8) Embrace the lightning moments.
9) Big dreams start with small, unreasonable acts.
10) Practice humility over hubris.
11) Speak the language of the person you want to become.
12) Walk with a purpose.
13) Happiness is found in celebrating others.
14) Find the impossible ones.
15) Focus on one person in every room.
16) Read the signs along the path.
17) Create separation to build connection.
18) Never take no from someone who can’t say yes.
19) Stay guided by your values, not your necessities.
20) You can’t fake authenticity.
21) There is only one chance at a first impression.
22) Fess up to your failures.
23) Learn to close the loop.
24) Change your words to change your worth.
25) A goal realized is a goal defined.
26) Surround yourself with those who make you better.
27) Vulnerability is vital.
28) Listen to your echoes.
29) If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.
30) Make your life a story worth telling.
Episodes of unrequited love force us to develop a sense of humour about ourselves. It is impossible to think too well of who we are in their aftermath. Unrequited love edges us inevitably towards a basic humility. We are at last confirmed as truly ridiculous. With any luck, no one gets hurt, it is just that, for a time, the world seems a bit more wondrous, more exciting and more blessed than usual. A natural impulse is to try to convert our longings into something more sensible, either to start a proper love affair or else to dismiss our dreams as too silly to nurture. Maybe we should do neither, but rather let the unrequited love exist on its own, neither fully grown up nor wholly damnable, neither deeply horrible nor quite sane. It is just the mind, a very complicated machine, constrained by the narrowness of existence, turning its wheels, tantalised by a vision of happiness and sensing, quite rightly and quite hopelessly, that there could have been so much more to life than there ever will be.
A Story Waiting to Pierce You: Mongolia, Tibet and the Destiny of the Western World (Point Reyes, CA: Golden Sufi Center Publishing, 2010)
Reality (Inverness, CA: The Golden Sufi Center, 2003)
In the Dark Places of Wisdom. Published in North America by The Golden Sufi Center (Inverness, CA, 1999) and in the UK by Duckworth (London, 2001)
Ancient Philosophy, Mystery and Magic. Empedocles and Pythagorean Tradition (Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 1995)